Often times with our busy schedules as moms, we forget to not only make time for ourselves, but for our husbands as well. I am a firm believer that in a family, the marriage and relationship between the two parents should be the number one priority. This rubs some people the wrong way. I'm not trying to be controversial and say my way is best, this is just what I believe and how I live my life. I am not in any way saying that my kids are not important to me. Both my husband and I will do anything and everything to make sure our kids have the best possible lives, and that they are loved infinitely. They are loved with everything I have, and I will do anything to make sure they are happy and healthy. But one day, my kids are going to grow up and have a life of their own, and all that's going to be left at home are my husband and I. I think it's important to keep your relationship with your husband alive and well. Not only will the two of you benefit from it, but your children will as well. Even if you're tired from a long day at work, a long day with the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc., it's so important to tough it out and spend time with your significant other. Whether it's having a chat on the couch, watching tv together, or staying up an extra thirty minutes to cuddle before bed. Any time, no matter how big or small, counts and does make a difference. You got married for a reason, and that reason is because you love each other. There's no reason to stop working on that love, and showing love, once you've put a ring on it and walked down that aisle. This is my advice on how to make your marriage a priority, and keeping it strong and sexy!
Get a babysitter, and go spend some alone time together. Whether that's going to dinner and a movie, grabbing drinks with friends, or grabbing drinks just the two of you, having kid-free adult time is so important for your relationship. Going out alone together will help fuel your relationship and bring you closer together. It will remind you of why you fell in love in the first place, and will recharge that love you have for one another, making it even stronger. It's important for you to get away every now and then, even if it's for your own sanity. I know after a full week of hearing "The Hot Dog Song" and watching Doc McStuffin's patch up her animals, I'm ready to feel like an adult again and I want to do that with my man. Grabbing dinner and drinks, just the two of us, helps recharge my batteries and makes me happy. Not only is going on dates as a couple important, but even going on dates with your girls, or by yourself, is healthy for your relationship. It's ok to miss your significant other. Missing each other, even for a few hours, is going to make it more exciting and special when you're reunited. I know a lot of Mom's don't want to leave their kids because they feel guilty. I'm here to tell you that your child will survive a few hours, or even one night without you. You are not a bad parent for leaving your child with a grandparent or a babysitter. If anything, your child is going to benefit from being away from you. It's important for children to be around other family member's and friend's, besides Mom and Dad. They need to work on relationships of their own, and by spending time with other people they are able to learn and grow as their own person. You're not always going to be able to be with your kids, they need to learn to function without you, it's healthy for them and for you.
A hug and a kiss can make all the difference in your everyday relationship. Try to give a hug and a kiss on every "hello" and "goodbye". Small signs of love and affection are important because it shows that you love each other and that you care. Hold hands when you're out and tell each other "I love you". Don't be afraid to let your kids see this side of you either. I don't mean have a full on make out sesh in front of the little ones, but I think it's important for them to see their parents hug, kiss, and hold hands. They learn almost everything they know from their parents, and their idea of what a marriage is, is going to be modeled after yours because that's all they know. Be sure to show your kids love and affection too. Give them lots of hugs and kisses, and tell them you love them every day. I want my kids to have healthy relationships. I want them to know their worth, to value themselves, and to know the difference between the right and wrong kinds of love. I want them to learn to respect their future partners, and I want them to know that they deserve respect themselves. I know my relationship and my marriage isn't perfect, but I want to do everything I can to show my kids what a good marriage is, and what a healthy relationship looks like. I know I can't control what they do, or who they end up with, but I want them to know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to love, and I don't want them to look for love in the wrong places.
Focus on the positive's in your relationship. I know that our husbands can drive us crazy sometimes, but just know that we drive them equally as crazy. Arguments are going to happen, just hash it out, move on, and don't hold a grudge. Talking about the positive things in your relationship, instead of just the negative, is going to set the tone for marriage. Give each other compliments. If your husband picks up the living room, or puts his cup in the dishwasher instead of in the sink, say thank you and tell him how much you appreciated the gesture. I promise, by telling him that you appreciate the small things he does, he will most likely do it more, and even start doing more for you. No one wants to do something nice for someone who is unappreciative. I know I don't always do this, but I want to. I know with Kevin, words of affirmation are really important to him. He does so much for our family and is our sole provider. Without him, we wouldn't have anything. I know I don't tell him as often as I should, but I am grateful and I love him so much for everything he does for me and our family. I know that when he hears those things, it makes him feel good about himself and about everything he's doing for us. So ladies, quit your bitching and nit-picking. I know everything isn't always sunshine and rainbows, but think of the positive in your relationship, the good things your husband does for you, and let him know you do notice and that you love him for it.
As I'm sure you've all heard before, communication is key. Being able to talk and communicate with your partner is going to make married life so much easier. Not only are you going to bypass some fights and arguments, but you're going to build trust and that my friends is one of the most important things to have in a relationship. Having good communication with one another is going to help to keep you on the same page. It's not going to keep arguments and fights from happening, but it is going to make them easier to deal with. If you are able to communicate exactly what you're feeling, and why you're feeling it, you just might be able to resolve your issues more quickly, and avoid some from happening. Not only does communication help in the argument department, but it's crucial when it comes parenting. I know that you're not always going to 100% agree on what to do with your kids, but you should still be on the same page or close to it. This should be a conversation that you have before you're even married. Kids aren't stupid, and they notice and pick up on things at an early age. If Mom and Dad can't agree on the small things, or are constantly arguing over what answer to give their children, the kids are going to play you against each other, and that's not a game you want to play. It puts a divide between the adults, causing arguments, and your kids end up losing respect for you. When something happens with our kids, Kevin and I always discuss it together. I will call and tell him about the situation, and we come to an agreement on what to do about it. There's some situations that need to be addressed immediately, and since I'm a stay at home mom, I have to make an executive decision on what to do. I still always call him and let him know what happened and how it was handled. If you and your husband make parenting decisions together, your kids are going to see that you're a team, that they can't play you against each other, and they're going to have equal respect for the both of you. If you can communicate as parents, you will bypass many parental arguments. It's definitely not going to stop all arguments and disagreements from happening, but at least you can skip a lot of little ones.
I'm serious, get it on and get it on often, even if you don't want to. Don't keep making excuses about why you don't want to, or why you can't. One of the main differences between you and your hubby being just friends and being married, is sex. No, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, but it is important, and should be made a priority. Being intimate with your significant other feeds your relationship and will bring both of you closer together. If you're not having sex, you're relationship is going to do sort of a domino effect, because it slowly starts to effect everything. You're both going to be irritable, you're going to argue more, and you're going to get in a rut that's going to be hard to get out of. Not only does having sex regularly make your relationship better, but you will feel better as a woman. Sex makes you feel more confident about yourself, you will be happier, and it just makes you feel sexy. Nothing is better in a relationship then knowing your man wants you, and nothing is better for your man than knowing you want him too.
xoxo,
Casey
LOVED this post so much! Keep 'em coming. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks girl!! :)
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